As I said in the previous post, we have sold the house. We are still under option period, but the inspection came back clear with nothing to fix. They had the appraisal done on Friday, but we haven’t heard back from that. And yesterday they had the termite inspection done (VA loans require it no matter the age of the house) and since we have Orkin come out every other month, we know that one came back clear. 😛
But since we are officially still in option, there isn’t much we can really do since they can back out at any point. There is only 3 days left of the option period, so we are excited for that. Once Friday hits, we will be able to start packing and we will have just over 2 weeks to pack the rest of the house up before the moving truck gets here. Everything is happening fast and as much as I am excited for it, I have been slightly stressed about whether we will be able to make it happen with me not being able to do a whole lot. Luckily we have some awesome friends here who are willing to come over and help when we need. I know things will work out in the long run, so I have just been taking it easy during the option period while I wait for the real excitement to start.
My anxiety has been steadily climbing through the last few days. I know a big part of it is the fact that we are slowly closing in on the gestational age that we lost Pixel at. Today marks two weeks since we have had an appointment and our next appointment isn’t scheduled until Monday, so we still have almost a week to go. It is the longest we have gone without hearing Baby’s heartbeat or making sure things are going ok since November. I wasn’t to worried about it because I was feeling Sprout move a lot more than I had felt Pixel, so I was under the assumption I would be fine. Until this past weekend. Since we signed the contract on the house and have had a bunch of stuff going on this last week, I have been doing more stuff and when I am moving around doing stuff, either Sprout isn’t moving or I just can’t feel it. I realized on Sunday night that I was feeling Sprout a lot less and as I was laying down to sleep (which is usually active time for baby), I didn’t feel anything before I fell asleep. I woke up on Monday and thought I felt some movement, but it was very light movement. I have to say that my anxiety all day yesterday was through the roof. I was tempted to call the doctor just so I could come in for a heartbeat check, but my unrational mind said not to because if there was no heartbeat, I wanted Darrell with me and I didn’t want to worry him with my fears. I waited through the day and just sat around as much as possible to try to get Sprout to move for me. I finally felt movement just before bed which is usual time, so I was pretty sure it was really just a cause of my anxiety.
These are things you second guess yourself all throughout a pregnancy after a loss. A lot of other mom’s I have read through blogs or different forums have described this anxiety and whether they want to go to the doctors and seem a little nutty or drive themselves nutty, so I kind of expected it. I don’t think I will be able to handle it for another 3-4 weeks though. I am glad that we have a doctors appointment once a week from here until we move which will relax my mind.
This morning, I was feeling a lot better since I woke up to Sprout kicking away and lots of movement. Sprout isn’t usually active in the morning, but this morning was a very playful morning. I was lying there with my arm across my tummy feeling Sprout move and Darrell was next to me reading facebook on his phone. Usually when I get his hand to feel Sprout, Sprout stops moving and Darrell doesn’t get to feel anything. This morning, I waited a good 5 minutes before I was pretty sure Sprout would keep moving. I had Darrell lay his hand across the belly and within a minute, Darrell finally got to feel Sprout move! I was really excited. All Darrell could say was “that was weird.” hahaha. This was something I have been looking forward to since we got pregnant because he never got to feel Pixel and I wanted him to feel Sprout.
So, that was totally my Anxiety relief this morning. I know Sprout is in there healthy and kicking. I still have 3.5 weeks until we reach Pixel’s gestational age at loss and I am already as big as I was with him. We shall see how much bigger I will get with Sprout by then.
