Darrell & Sharyn

Today’s prompt is Wave of Light.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It is a day that is meant for parents to talk about their children who are no longer with them after being lost to Miscarriage, Stillbirth, premature birth, SIDS or anything else before their first year.

Wave of Light is meant to be for everyone across the world to light a candle at 7pm their local time for an hour so that there is a light across the world for 24 hours.

I have been really busy these last couple days and didn’t have anything for any of these days.

Day 12 – Scents – any scent that reminds you of your baby.

I never had any scents that remind me of Pixel. As he was born in a hospital, I only got the scent of hospital. I don’t see that as a scent of my son, so I just let it go. If anything, the scent of a rainstorm makes me think of Pixel.

Day 13 – Signs – any sign that reminds you of your baby.

Once again, the only thing I can think of is rainbows. But they aren’t a sign of my baby, just something that reminds me of him occasionally.

Day 14 – Community

This is suppose to be a picture of a community gathering or event that we have attended. We haven’t attended anything in person. I am a member of a baby loss community on facebook where we get to talk about our babies and discuss our fears over our rainbow pregnancies.

“Supportive Friends & Family”

This one wasn’t that hard. Everyone has been extremely supportive and helpful with everything we have gone through. The hardest part was finding pictures. I know I don’t have pictures of everybody, so even if you aren’t on here, don’t think I didn’t know that you have been there for us.

Thank you!

Our Families who have been there:

My Best friend Ruth, who has been on the other end of the line whenever I needed someone to talk to and who seems to always know when to call. 🙂

And all of our friends who knew each of us before we became a couple and have been there for us our whole relationship. I don’t know what I would have done without these crazy kooks and I can’t wait until we are back and able to attend some more gigs with them.

Once again, I’m not trying to leave anyone out since you have all been so supportive. I just don’t have pictures of everybody in group formats. (It would be a really long post with all of the individual ones I have.)

“Symbol”

Many Baby Loss Mom’s refer to their pregnancy after a loss as their “Rainbow pregnancy.” The reason for this is — “Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.

I do refer to our new little sprout as our rainbow pregnancy on occasion. It is the light that has occurred after our storm.

“Why are you telling us all this and how does it apply to today’s prompt?”

Well.. As much as I believe that this is our rainbow baby, I actually associate rainbow’s with Pixel and Bit.

You see – We did lose Bit early on in the pregnancy, but I feel as though he/she was with Pixel the whole time. I associate Rainbow’s with the two of them because on the day that we believe that Pixel died, there was a huge storm at our place. It only lasted for about 30 minutes, but everything got dark, the wind was blowing trash cans down the street. Lightening was striking everywhere. The rain was coming down in sheets every which way. It was a nasty little storm that just popped up with little warning. After the storm, we went outside to see how things had fared. In the sky, there was a double rainbow. I have seen a couple double rainbows in my life, but none this bright. You could practically see the whole rainbow for both of them.

I associate this as Pixel and Bit playing in Nature. I didn’t know at the time that Pixel had died, but it has meaning to me now. So whenever I see double rainbows, I think of my twins.