Today is a mixed blessings sort of day.
I switched all of my calendars to August yesterday and noted that we were almost to our due date. It made me think a little bit about whether Pixel would have been an early baby or a late baby. I should be prepping the house for my mom and sister to come visit, but instead it is a complete mess. Well, maybe not completely as we are getting ready for a garage sale next weekend to get rid of a bunch of stuff in preparation for a move back to California in the next 12 months.
But just switching those calendars made me sad.
Then of course, today Aunt Flo had to come visit. There is an upside and downside to this. Downside is that I should be fat and pregnant and we should be doing our final preparations for baby. Upside is that I am already back on my normal cycle. Being back on a normal cycle makes it a lot easier for us to schedule procedures and gives us a better idea of dates. Many women don’t get back onto their normal cycles until about four months after a stillbirth.
So if we go ahead and try again in September (we are still in talks and nothing has been decided), then our cycle should start up Labor Day Weekend. There are all sorts of if’s and’s and but’s in this situation. If we decide to try again in September and Aunt Flo comes back when she is suppose to, then we have to hope the doctors office is open over Labor Day weekend. And then if the medication works like it did in November, and a pregnancy takes, we could be looking at a due date of June 5. But if the doctor’s office is not open over Labor Day weekend, then we would have to move the medication out 2 days and take clomid days 5-9 instead of 3-7. I don’t know how that would affect things as we have never done that before. Or we could just wait another month and then I would be due July 4.
Honestly, if we don’t try again in September, I am thinking we won’t try again until January. I am almost against trying in October because I don’t want a Fourth of July baby. I have nothing against a Fourth of July baby, but our niece is a Fourth of July baby, and my cousin’s girl is a Fourth of July baby. So our baby would be the third baby on my side to be born on Independence Day. Granted, many babies aren’t born on their due date and if we ended up with multiples it definitely wouldn’t happen, but I’m not sure if I want to take that chance.
November is pretty much out of the question as I would be due around the same time Pixel was due. I don’t know if I could handle meeting all of the same milestones at the same time again. A pregnancy will be hard enough without it.
We could probably think about in December, but it would definitely depend on when things happen as the holidays are a bigger time for people to take time off. So January it would be.
I know that these are a lot of what-ifs. I am hoping that we are leaning more towards September as the first six months after a delivery is when a woman is considered more fertile. That is how things happened in November. I had my HSG (Hysterosalpingogram) in August and you are considered highly fertile during the next three months as that pretty much cleans out the tubes.
I have been spending a lot of time thinking about all of these things lately. We have one more vial of sperm on ice. After we do that, then we have to save the money to buy more vials but since our donor is no longer active, we also have to decide on a new donor. It took us almost two months to decide on the donor we have. There are a lot more things we have to decide on if the next try doesn’t work, but we are also kind of hoping to try this last time before we leave Texas. The only reason for that is because the vial is already at the doctors office and we love our doctor. Either way, we shall see.