During our elongated trip to California, we were told by a lot of people that we were strong to be able to go through what we are going through. We were also told by many that they don’t think they could be as strong as us. I’m sorry, but many times I wanted to laugh at them.
EVERYONE is strong in their own ways. I believe that anyone can be as strong as is needed in any situation. There are many women out there who are put in situations worse than ours and they learn ways to make them strong so they can cope. It is a matter of knowing what you need to do for any given situation.
The only other option besides learning how to be strong is to be weak and let it take over. That, to me, is not an option.
I know I have let it be a main focus right now, but it is what it is.
Losing Pixel has taken away our innocence during pregnancy, but I am learning how to be strong so that it doesn’t take away my happiness. The other option is to let it take over me and not enjoy every minute I have with any future children. Whether it be for a couple days gestation or the rest of my life.
Darrell and I have discussed how we will be anxious during any subsequent pregnancy because of this. We will never feel “out of the woods” until we hear that baby cry. We have to be strong in the situation because if we aren’t, then the only thing to do would be to not try again. We have both always wanted to be parents, so we have learned how to be strong so we will be able to reach that goal to a living child.
Losing Pixel has also made our relationship stronger. We don’t take anything for granted and have learned that you need to enjoy every minute. We work through things so we aren’t focused on the negative.
My opinion on it all is that strong is relative to the situation. You can be as strong as you need to. Just learn what is needed in your situation.
I am lucky in that I have a spouse who is my rock. He helps me get through the rough days. He might not understand all of the emotions I go through, but he understands that I need to go through them and is there for me.
So my hope is that you will all realize that you will be as strong as you need when the time comes.
Don’t feel as though you couldn’t be as strong. The strength comes from knowing your choices.
~S